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Why it might seem like we focus on the negatives...

Why it might seem like we focus on the negatives... It can be very hard being autistic and going to something that you enjoy. You still have to process that parts that you think were not as you had imagined, or not to the standard that you expect. It can make you seem ungrateful or pessimistic by others, but it isn’t meant that way. I love the theatre, I always have done and it is a massive part of my life. I am fortunate to attend performances regularly and it isn’t unknown for me to attend the same production more than once. Recently I went to see Crazy for You, it was the West End at its best! The quality of he performance was breathtaking and the cast were oozing talent. It was one of the best productions I have ever seen. In one scene there was a dance which involved dancers pulling rope off of a large reel with a cast member “chopping the rope” with an axe. Obviously the rope was clear cut and from my seat I could see markers where the rope was cut and as a marker for the bearer of the axe. It was very mesmerising a visual stim! That was until they missed two beats. My brain could only focus on those two minor imperfections. It was awful, I felt an inner turmoil because I wanted to be able to ignore it but I couldn’t. I had to talk about it. This week I saw a staged concert of Evita. I loved it, I enjoyed the lack of scenery and being able to focus on the music. For me I felt that the title role was not cast correctly. This was not a reflection on their ability, far from it, but there were times when their voice lacked the strength required. It is a difficult role and when Madonna played it for the film version in 1996, she had to have 6 months of intensive vocal training to extend her vocal range. Did I enjoy the performance? Yes I did, it was amazing and there were several moments that were awe inspiring. However, I can’t remove that feeling in my head that it was not as I had expected. I know that my need to talk and process the parts of performances that don’t seem right can seem like complaining. I'm not, although I know that it might come across that way. I am certain that focussing on negatives is something that many parents of autistic children will have experienced. It can be disheartening that the event you have lovingly organised is being given negative feedback. However, i need the outlet to process. It's very helpful and means that once my brain has dealt with this, it is able to then able to focus on the positives. Don't just assume we are complaining or being fussy. Usually it's just verbal processing so we can move on to and remember the positives.

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