For some ADHD medications, there are currently international shortages. This has meant that whatever medication I have left in my cupboard needs to be rationed. I've heard rumours of when normal supplies will return, but I thought I could handle being on a lower dose for a while.
My god, the struggle is real, and I had forgotten. The mood swings, the anger, the impulses, the confusion, the total disorientation, and not being able to think. Worst of all, I'm struggling to sleep unless I take my evening dose.
For a few days, we couldn't get any of my son's tablets. Thankfully, we now have them. It was an interesting few days 🤣
A staff member said to me today that when he wasn't able to have his medication, he was doing all these things he wouldn't normally do. He was running up to people he normally wouldn't, and giggling, etc.
I had to admit that there are sometimes positives to being off ADHD meds. You are braver than normal and more sociable in some cases. I thought back to university where I was out clubbing several times a week. I was volunteering and spending all day with people. The only difference was that I seemed to be more exhausted than other people. I didn't know how they did it all so easily.
Being off ADHD meds is like being a separate person inside your body. Given the choice, the inner you wouldn't usually behave in the way you are. But the outer you doesn't listen. It drives everything you do. It doesn't think, it doesn't even breathe. It just DOES.
You watch from inside yourself as you present something to the outer world that isn't really you. Sometimes it's fun to be that outer person, and I've loved it before! Other times, it's a living hell as all you want is peace, but with an outer you who wouldn't even consider breathing, how do you get peace?
Medication melts away that outer you for a while, so the inner you can shine. It even stops the outer you from making huge mistakes, upsetting people, and allowing emotions to rise so quickly you act in a way you don't want to.
I'm exhausted. I need my brain and body to slow down before that outer me does some serious damage.
This medication shortage is really hard.