Autism & ADHD at School

Autism & ADHD at school

These pages are designed to support both parents and school staff in creating learning environments where autistic and ADHD children can truly thrive. Whether you’re teaching in the classroom or advocating as a parent, you’ll find practical, evidence-informed strategies for reducing overwhelm, improving focus, and supporting emotional well-being in school.

Each tab addresses specific challenges because every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and supported in their education.

Choosing a School for Your Autistic or ADHD Child

Education doesn’t look the same for every child — and that’s okay. From mainstream schools to specialist settings, home education to forest schools, there are many valid paths. While these pages focus mainly on school-based education, we’re always happy to chat if you need support with other types of learning. Just reach out. Things to Keep in Mind When Choosing a School There’s no single “right” way to choose a school. Every child is different — and every family’s priorities are too. That said, here are some helpful things to consider as you begin the process: 1. A diagnosis doesn’t automatically mean specialist school Most autistic and/or ADHD children are educated in mainstream schools with additional support. A diagnosis on its own doesn’t mean your child must attend specialist provision — and many thrive in mainstream settings with the right strategies in place. 2. Trust your own observations over other people’s opinions It might sound obvious, but focus on what you see and feel during a visit. While other parents’ opinions can be helpful later on, schools are deeply personal choices — what works brilliantly for one child may not work for another. 3. If you're considering specialist provision… Make sure the school actually supports children with your child’s needs. Some specialist schools require a confirmed diagnosis as part of the admissions process — so if you're still waiting for that, it may limit your options in the short term. 4. Look for a values match Does the school’s approach reflect your values as a parent? If there are specific therapies or interventions you're uncomfortable with, it’s worth discussing this before making a decision. A mismatch in ethos can lead to unnecessary stress — for everyone involved. 5. Think practically, not just ideally Consider the whole picture. If the school is far away, how will you get there after a medical appointment or in the middle of the day if your child is unwell? Are there other children in the family to factor in? Transport support may be available for specialist placements, but flexibility matters too. 6. Visit multiple schools Even if one school feels like a good fit, visiting a few others helps build a more balanced view. It may also highlight things you hadn’t considered before. 7. Take inspection reports with a pinch of salt School reports (like Ofsted or Estyn) only show a snapshot of very specific criteria. They won’t tell you how your child might feel walking through the doors every day — or how staff respond in the moments that matter most. 8. Look at the whole school — not just one person It’s easy to fall in love with a brilliant teacher or SENCO — but staff change. Make sure the wider culture and systems in place feel right for your child. 9. If appropriate, involve your child This is especially important when choosing a secondary school. Where possible, include your child in visits or conversations. Feeling heard helps build confidence and ownership over the decision. 10. Focus on the child you have now Try not to get too caught up in long-term “what ifs.” A school that’s right for your 5-year-old now may not be the same place they’ll need at 11 — and that’s okay. Focus on what supports them best today.

A person stands with question marks above their head, wondering whether to choose home educationm SEND school or mainstream school for their autistic/ADHD child.

Communicating with teachers

Building Positive Relationships Around Your Child When your child is neurodivergent, it’s easy to feel like the school system just doesn’t get it. Many parents feel unheard or frustrated — especially when support feels limited or inconsistent. But it’s important to remember that teachers are human too. They’re working under immense pressure, often without enough training in autism, ADHD, or the nuanced needs of neurodivergent learners. That said, a compassionate and flexible teacher can make a world of difference — not just to your child’s school experience, but to your own peace of mind as a parent or carer. Why Communication Matters The foundation of a strong parent–teacher relationship is open, respectful communication. Even the most dedicated teachers might not have had previous experience with a child at your child’s developmental stage — and you are the expert on your child. Here’s how to get things off to a strong start: For Primary School: Start with a Friendly Introduction Once you know who your child’s teacher will be, consider sending a short welcome letter before term starts. It doesn’t need to be lengthy — just a warm note introducing yourself, sharing a little about your child, and thanking the teacher in advance for the role they’ll play. A simple letter helps them put a face to a name and shows you’re ready to work together. Need help? Our downloadable “All About Me (Primary)” template makes this easy. You’ll find it in the Parents & Carers section of our shop. Get in Touch Before Term Begins This is especially important if your child is in a mainstream setting and doesn’t have an EHCP or internal support plan. Even small adjustments — like seating arrangements or a visual schedule — can make a big difference, but they require some planning. Giving teachers time to prepare avoids last-minute disruptions, and sets the tone for collaborative support. Give It Time Transitions are hard — especially after a long break. It takes time for children to re-adjust, and just as long for teachers to build relationships and understand new students. As long as there are no serious concerns around safety or wellbeing, allow a few weeks of settling-in time before stepping in with concerns or feedback. For Secondary School: Share with the Whole Team In secondary school, your child may interact with 10+ staff members each week. A helpful approach is to write a short “open letter” introducing your child and highlighting any key needs — something that can be shared in the staff room or by the SENCO. Bonus points: include a packet of biscuits or a kind note. It builds goodwill and reminds teachers that there’s a caring team behind the student. If you know there are likely to be subject-specific challenges (e.g. sensory overload in PE or music), contact those teachers directly. Sometimes, it’s the non-core lessons that become the hardest part of a child’s day.

Sensory Processing at school

If you've ever stepped into a busy school corridor, you’ll know that schools are full of sensory input, and for autistic children that can be overwhelming. While modern classrooms aim to be more interactive and engaging, they can also create environments that are challenging for children who process sensory information differently. Here’s a breakdown of how each sensory system may be impacted throughout a typical school day. Taste: Unpredictable Meals School dinners are often inconsistent. Even if a child chooses a favourite meal from the menu, there’s no guarantee it will be cooked the same way each time. Changes in texture, smell, or flavour—even slight ones—can cause extreme distress for an autistic child with heightened sensory sensitivities around food. Touch: From Uniforms to Corridors School uniforms can be a major source of discomfort. Seams, stiff collars, or scratchy fabrics might feel unbearable. Add to this the unavoidable jostling in hallways or being brushed against in the playground, and it can lead to sensory overload or even shutdown. Smell: Constant and Compounding Schools are filled with strong and often unpredictable smells—school dinners cooking, art supplies, cleaning products, or just the scent of dozens of people in close quarters. These layered smells can become overwhelming, especially for children with heightened olfactory sensitivity. Sound: A Constant Buzz From noisy playgrounds to humming whiteboards and fluorescent lights, schools can be overwhelmingly loud. Even seemingly small noises like tapping pens, chair scraping, or background chatter can build up throughout the day and exhaust a child’s sensory tolerance. Sight: Bright Lights and Screen Glare Bright, flickering classroom lights and glare from interactive whiteboards or screens can cause discomfort or headaches. Some children may struggle to maintain attention or feel disoriented in visually overwhelming environments. Vestibular & Proprioceptive: Movement Challenges Navigating changing floor surfaces, crowded hallways, or adapting to different chairs and desks requires constant motor planning. This can be physically and mentally exhausting, especially when coordination or balance is already a challenge. Interoception: Misreading Internal Signals Being in a heightened state of anxiety or sensory distress can disrupt interoception—the ability to understand internal body signals. This might mean a child doesn’t realise they need the toilet until it’s too late, can’t tell if they’re hungry or thirsty, or doesn’t recognise that they’re feeling unwell. Why It Matters These sensory challenges aren’t just minor inconveniences, they can deeply affect a child’s ability to learn, communicate, and feel safe in school. Recognising and supporting these needs isn’t about special treatment; it’s about making education accessible. With the right knowledge, schools can become not only inclusive but empowering places for neurodivergent children to thrive.

A teenager shows pain via red zig zag marks around his head as he walks through a school corridor filled with sensory triggers.

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Stimming

Stimming—short for self-stimulatory behaviour—is a natural and necessary way for many autistic and ADHD individuals to regulate their sensory systems, manage emotions, and maintain focus. Despite its importance, stimming is often misunderstood, particularly in educational settings where traditional expectations around “sitting still and staying quiet” can be at odds with neurodivergent needs. What Is Stimming? Stimming can take many forms, Repetitive movements, sounds, or actions that help a person feel grounded. These behaviours are often soothing, help with concentration, or provide a release when someone is feeling overwhelmed or excited. Examples include: •Hand-flapping •Fidgeting with objects •Rocking or bouncing •Humming or repeating words •Tapping fingers or feet Each individual may have one or more preferred stims that serve a specific sensory or emotional purpose. Why Stimming Matters in Learning For autistic and ADHD learners, the ability to stim freely (within reason) is often essential to maintaining emotional regulation and cognitive engagement. Denying this need—by asking a child to sit still or stop moving—can increase distress and reduce their ability to focus or absorb information. Instead of viewing stimming as a distraction, schools should recognise it as a tool that supports self-regulation and learning. How to Support Stimming in the Classroom Not all stims are disruptive, and many can easily be accommodated in a typical classroom setting. For example, a child might stim quietly by: •Flapping their hands under the desk •Squeezing a fidget toy •Rocking gently in a chair Other stims, such as vocalisations or the need to move around the room, may require the child to leave the classroom briefly to regulate in a safe, quiet space. What matters is ensuring they are given appropriate opportunities to stim, without being reprimanded or singled out. Educators should work with families to understand: •The child’s typical stimming behaviours •What helps them feel regulated and safe •How these behaviours can be supported or accommodated day-to-day Stimming and Anxiety Stimming often increases during periods of stress or anxiety. This may be more noticeable during: •School assemblies •Break times or the lunch hall •Transitions or changes in routine These behaviours are not “bad” or “wrong”—they are coping strategies. It's essential that all school staff understand this and respond with empathy rather than correction. Building a Safe and Inclusive Environment In some cases, especially for younger children, it may be helpful for teachers to explain stimming to the rest of the class in an age-appropriate, respectful way. When children understand why a classmate might rock, flap, or make noises, they are far more likely to respond with acceptance and kindness. Open conversations can be powerful tools in reducing bullying and promoting inclusion. Bottom line: Stimming is not a behaviour to be “fixed.” It’s a natural and important way for many children to manage the demands of the school environment. With the right understanding and support, classrooms can be inclusive spaces where all children—neurodivergent or not—are free to be themselves and thrive.

The after effects of school

Why Does My Child Come Home and Meltdown After School? One of the most common and distressing questions parents ask is: “Why is my autistic child fine all day at school, but falls apart the moment they get home?” At first glance, it can feel confusing or even disheartening. It often raises two quiet doubts in a parent’s mind: 1. Is the teacher being honest when they say everything is fine at school? 2. Am I doing something wrong at home to trigger this reaction? Let’s be clear: you're not doing anything wrong. What you're likely witnessing is a very real and well-documented phenomenon known as after-school restraint collapse, which is particularly common in autistic and ADHD children. Masking During the school day, your child may be working incredibly hard to “mask”—that is, to suppress their natural responses and blend in with the expectations of a neurotypical environment. This means: •Holding in sensory discomfort •Staying quiet when they feel overwhelmed •Following instructions when they don’t fully understand •Navigating social interactions that feel confusing or draining All of this requires enormous emotional, mental, and physical effort. By the time they return home—into their safe space—the mask can drop. What follows is often a release of everything they’ve been holding in. Why do they meltdown at home? Because home is safe. Home is where they can be themselves, and that’s a reflection of the trust and security they feel with you. We Know It’s Hard for Parents Too Of course, understanding the “why” doesn’t make it any easier to deal with meltdowns. Some parents describe feeling anxious as the school day ends, anticipating the emotional explosion that may come through the front door. If that’s you, you’re not alone—and you’re not failing. Every child responds to the end of the day differently, but there are strategies you can try to help ease the transition from school to home. After-School Strategies to Support Regulation Here are some practical, neuro-affirming ideas to help your child decompress: No Questions at the Door Avoid asking how their day was straight away. They may not have the emotional or cognitive energy to reflect and respond yet. Save the chat for later—or let them come to you when they’re ready. Provide Food and Water Without a Fuss Have a favourite snack and drink ready as soon as they get home. Stress can suppress appetite and thirst, so it’s possible they haven’t eaten or drunk enough during the day. Low blood sugar and dehydration can make regulation even harder. Offer a Low-Demand, Quiet Space If you have other children, give your neurodivergent child the option to retreat somewhere quiet without expectation. Time alone to self-regulate is often essential, not antisocial. Avoid Overloading with Activities Give them space to rest after school before starting clubs, playdates, or tutoring. Even fun activities can add to overwhelm if they happen too soon. Press Pause on Homework If your child is struggling emotionally, homework can wait. It’s far more important that they feel safe and settled. A regulated brain learns better anyway and tomorrow is a new day. Remember: Big Feelings Don’t Always Mean Bad Days Just because your child is melting down doesn’t mean their day was negative. Positive experiences—like winning an award or enjoying a class trip—can be just as hard to process as difficult ones. Meltdowns Are Communication Your child isn’t being difficult, they’re communicating a need. Whether it’s for space, food, rest, or just to be accepted as they are, their meltdown is not a rejection of you. It’s a release of the pressure they’ve felt all day. And if they’re choosing to release it with you, that means you’re their safe place. What greater compliment could there be?

An autistic child is distressed after school. The parent/carer is confused and thinks to himself "I don't understand, they said she had a really good day?"

Autism & Exams

VIEW OUR AUTISM AND EXAMS EBOOK

Exams can be tough for any student—but for autistic young people, they can bring a unique set of challenges. With the right strategies and support, exams don’t have to feel overwhelming. Traditional exam environments aren’t always built with neurodivergent learners in mind. Strict rules, unfamiliar settings, sensory distractions, and time pressure can all create barriers. But with thoughtful planning and the right accommodations, autistic students can approach exams with greater confidence and clarity. Why Exams Can Be Extra Challenging for Autistic Students Exams often measure more than just knowledge—they test a student’s ability to recall, interpret, and express that knowledge under pressure. For autistic learners, this can bring up some common difficulties, including: • Sensory overwhelm – Bright lights, ticking clocks, rustling papers, or the hum of fluorescent lighting can make concentration harder. • Changes to routine – A disrupted schedule can increase anxiety or emotional fatigue. • Time pressure – Knowing how to pace yourself or judge how long to spend on each question can be difficult. • Language and processing differences – Abstract, vague, or overly wordy exam questions may cause confusion or slow down response time. Practical Support Strategies That Help With the right preparation, exams can become more manageable. Here are some tried-and-tested tips that can make a big difference: • Build a structured revision plan Breaking study time into small, predictable chunks with clear goals can reduce overwhelm and help build confidence. • Practice in a calm, familiar space Doing past papers at home or in a quiet, low-pressure environment helps build familiarity with the exam format and reduce anxiety. •Explore access arrangements Talk to the school about adjustments like extra time, rest breaks, a quiet room, or the use of a computer. These are there to level the playing field—not to give an advantage. • Use sensory tools that support regulation Noise-cancelling headphones, tinted lenses, or a favourite fidget can help manage sensory input and keep focus steady. For Parents and Educators: Your Support Matters If you're supporting an autistic student through exam season, your understanding and flexibility can make all the difference. A few ways to help include: •Offering reassurance without pressure •Allowing downtime after school or revision sessions •Working with the school to put adjustments in place •Recognising that processing and performance may fluctuate daily Remember: exam success looks different for everyone. What matters most is creating an environment where your child or student feels safe, supported, and able to show what they truly know.

Recognising the signs of ADHD in School

ADHD can present differently from child to child and in a school setting, these differences are often misunderstood. Behaviours linked to ADHD are sometimes mistaken for defiance, laziness, or disinterest, when in fact, they’re signs that a student is navigating the world in a way that isn’t always supported by traditional classroom environments. Understanding these signs is the first step toward offering the right support and helping students thrive. Common ADHD Behaviours in School •Difficulty Following Instructions Students with ADHD may appear inattentive, but in reality, they may be struggling to process verbal instructions, especially if they’re given all at once or in a noisy environment. •Restlessness and Distraction Fidgeting, tapping, daydreaming, or doodling in class are often ways a student is trying to stay regulated, not signs of disinterest. •Disorganisation Scattered books, misplaced homework, and messy desks or bags aren’t signs of carelessness. They’re symptoms of executive functioning differences that come with ADHD. •Time Management Struggles Being late, missing deadlines, or struggling to move between tasks are common challenges. This isn’t due to poor planning, ADHD affects how time is perceived and managed. •Impulsivity and Interruptions Blurting out answers, interrupting others, or getting out of their seat might be the brain’s way of seeking stimulation or releasing built-up energy. Poor working memory can mean ideas and answers enter and leave the brain just as quickly. ADHD students can be desperate to answer before they forget, which can make them look rude or like they are ignoring the rules. •Anxiety and Overcompensation Not all students with ADHD are disruptive. Some internalise their struggles and overachieve to mask their difficulties. This can lead to burnout or anxiety, especially if their efforts go unnoticed. When we shift our lens from “misbehaviour” to “communication,” we begin to see the real child behind the behaviour. ADHD isn’t about lacking discipline, it’s about needing understanding, support, and often a different approach to learning. By recognising these signs early, we can help students with ADHD feel seen, reduce their stress, and unlock their potential.

A child struggles to understand multiple instructions by a teacher. Their classmates follow with ease, but they are lost after the first step and think "Help!"

ADHD Isn't Always Loud - Sometimes, It's Invisible

Female pupil with ADHD stands smiling with a teacher complimenting her helpfulness and homework. Inside the pupil is written all her anxieties inlcuding "don't forget to do that homework", "If you're really helpful they won't notice when you fidget", "Perfect behaviour means they won't spot you're clueless about this lesson" and "Good grades mean you won't get punished for shouting out in class." Inside the larger character stands a small character who is sweating with anxiety.

When most people think of ADHD, they picture high energy, impulsivity, or visible restlessness in the classroom. But for many students—especially those with inattentive or combined-type ADHD—the struggle looks very different. These students may appear quiet, hardworking, or even “model” pupils. They often go unnoticed because they spend so much energy trying to meet expectations, follow the rules, and avoid making mistakes. But behind the scenes, they’re masking enormous internal effort and anxiety. While these students may not disrupt lessons or call attention to themselves, their ADHD is still very real. Their fast-paced thoughts, difficulties with focus, and fear of failure can create overwhelming anxiety that builds up throughout the school day—often only becoming visible at home, when they feel safe to release it. This can lead to meltdowns, emotional exhaustion, or even shutdowns—similar to the experience of sensory overload in autistic individuals. What Hidden ADHD Can Look Like •Arriving Extremely Early Driven by a fear of being late or breaking a rule, some students will arrive far too early for lessons or school events. •High Anxiety Levels Many live with constant worry, especially about how they’re perceived by teachers or peers. ADHD and anxiety often go hand-in-hand. •Struggling to Focus at School They may work well at home but find it hard to concentrate in busy, noisy classrooms. •Occasional Misbehaviour with Big Emotions One small mistake or moment of disruption can trigger intense guilt or shame—even if the teacher barely noticed it. •Volunteering for Extra Tasks Some will put themselves forward for jobs or errands just to move around with permission—it's a way of managing their internal energy without drawing attention. •Appearing Like a “Model Student” While Falling Apart at Home They might never miss homework, always say please and thank you, and never raise a hand in anger—but inside, they’re overwhelmed and exhausted from trying to keep up. These students are often missed in assessments and may not get the support they need—because from the outside, they look like they’re coping. But just because a student isn’t disruptive doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling. ADHD presents in many different ways, and quieter presentations are just as valid—and just as deserving of understanding and support. Educators, parents, and carers can make a world of difference by: •Looking beyond behaviour and noticing effort •Creating safe spaces where students can be honest •Being flexible with expectations when anxiety is high •Supporting diagnosis and access arrangements when needed

What to do if you think you might have ADHD

If you or your child are experiencing symptoms that might be related to ADHD, the first and most important step is to seek a professional assessment—ideally with a psychiatrist or a clinician experienced in diagnosing neurodevelopmental conditions. An accurate diagnosis is essential, not just to confirm whether it’s ADHD, but to rule out other conditions with similar traits and ensure the right support, strategies, or treatment are put in place. Preparing for an ADHD Assessment To help your clinician better understand your experience, it can be incredibly useful to keep a written record of observed behaviours or symptoms. Try to include: When the symptoms started In what settings they occur (home, school, work, social) How they impact daily life Any family history of ADHD or related conditions This information can support the assessment process and give professionals a fuller picture of how ADHD may be affecting you or your child. Need Help Identifying Symptoms? We’ve created a resource that outlines the core symptoms of ADHD, based on current diagnostic criteria, to help you reflect and prepare for conversations with healthcare providers. Remember, getting a diagnosis isn’t about labelling—it’s about understanding. And with understanding comes the right support, strategies, and empowerment to thrive.

Supporting Students with ADHD in School: Practical, Person-Centred Strategies

Students with ADHD often face unique challenges in the classroom—not because they’re disruptive or disinterested, but because they experience the world and learning differently. Understanding this is the first step toward offering support that genuinely helps. Effective Strategies for ADHD Support in the Classroom ADHD behaviours are not signs of poor discipline; they’re signals that a student needs a different approach, one that respects their neurology while giving them the tools to succeed. Here are some practical strategies to help ADHD learners thrive in a school environment. 1. Timers, Alarms & Reminders Allow students to use digital tools like phone or watch alarms to help with transitions, time management, and task completion throughout the day. 2. Music for Focus Permit quiet music through headphones if it helps the student block out background noise and stay focused—especially during independent work. 3. Built-In Movement Breaks Offer opportunities for purposeful movement, like delivering a message to another classroom or helping with classroom tasks. It gives them a break without drawing unnecessary attention. 4. Fidget Tools & Doodling Items like fidget toys, Blu Tack, or permission to doodle can help regulate physical restlessness and support concentration without disrupting others. 5. Subtle Refocusing Cues Instead of calling out a student who’s zoning out, use non-verbal prompts like a light tap on the shoulder or moving closer to gently bring them back to task. 6. Manage Off-Topic Questions Let students ask a few non-topic-related questions per class, then encourage them to write others down for later. You could respond via email or allocate set times each term to follow up. 7. Homework Support & Breakdown Work with staff to clearly communicate homework expectations. Where possible, break assignments into smaller steps to prevent overwhelm and support executive functioning. 8. Focus on the Learning Journey Remind students that school is about more than just finishing tasks—it's about learning, growth, and curiosity. This helps reduce performance anxiety and perfectionism. 9. Encouraging Self-Regulation Support students to notice their energy levels. If they feel overstimulated, allow short movement breaks—like a brisk walk—before returning to class. These strategies are just starting points. What works brilliantly for one student may not help another. The most effective support comes from understanding each student’s individual profile and building flexibility into your approach. When students with ADHD are supported with empathy, structure, and choice, their strengths can shine, turning potential struggles into success stories.

ADHD & Exams

Exams can be particularly challenging for students with ADHD — not because they lack ability, but because the exam environment often clashes with the way ADHD brains work. Rigid structures, strict timing, and prolonged periods of sitting still can make it difficult to show what they truly know. With the right strategies and support, however, exams don’t have to feel overwhelming. By planning carefully and putting reasonable adjustments in place, students with ADHD can approach exams with greater confidence and clarity. Why Exams Can Be Harder for Students with ADHD Exams are about more than knowledge — they test a student’s ability to stay focused, manage time, and regulate attention under pressure. For many ADHD students, this brings specific challenges: •Attention fluctuations – Concentration can fade quickly, making it hard to sustain focus for the entire exam period. •Time management difficulties – Many students with ADHD find it tricky to pace themselves, risking unfinished sections or rushing at the end. •Impulsivity – Blurting out answers mentally or skipping instructions can lead to small but costly mistakes. •Working memory challenges – It can be hard to hold multiple pieces of information in mind while planning and writing answers. •Exam stress and overwhelm – High-pressure environments can increase distractibility and make it harder to think clearly. Practical Exam Strategies That Can Help •Structured Revision Plans Break study sessions into short, focused bursts with regular breaks. This supports attention and makes revision feel more manageable. •Practice Under Exam Conditions Using past papers and timed exercises in a calm space can help build familiarity with exam timing and reduce last-minute stress. •Access Arrangements Extra time, rest breaks, or using a separate room can make a huge difference for students with ADHD. These adjustments are not “special treatment” — they level the playing field. •Simple Tools for Focus Using timers, checklists, or visual schedules can help students manage their time effectively and stay on track during exams. •Chunking the Paper Encouraging students to break the exam into sections helps prevent overwhelm and keeps them engaged throughout the whole session. For Parents and Educators If you're supporting a student with ADHD, your role is crucial. Offering reassurance, helping with practical preparation, and working with the school to implement adjustments can reduce stress and build confidence.