Helping Your ADHD Child Remember Daily Routines

It's October! Which means it's ADHD Awareness Month! We will be posting on areas often missed or not given as much attention as hyperactivity and impulsivity, so we can all learn more about the full daily experience of someone living with ADHD. Including the two of us!

One area of ADHD that is often overlooked is the difficulty in remembering multiple-step processes. You might have those mornings when your child, who has done this routine hundreds of times, is in the bathroom, one sock on, toothbrush in hand, staring at the wall like they've been transported to an alien planet. Remember, your child isn't being defiant, lazy, or difficult. Their brain genuinely struggles to hold multiple steps in working memory while executing them.

ADHD affects executive functioning, which includes working memory—the mental sticky note that helps us remember what we're doing while we're doing it. For neurotypical brains, "get ready for school" automatically unfolds into brushing teeth, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and packing a bag. For individuals with ADHD, each step can feel like a completely new instruction that appears out of nowhere. Add in a distraction or two, and the ADHD brain can genuinely forget what comes next.

Several things can help, but it's a matter of trial and error, and it depends on the individual. The following ideas are worth a go!

• Visual checklists: These can range from pictures to written lists, depending on the child's stage, but remember to ensure they are at eye level in the location where the task is performed. The key is making the invisible visible.

  
  

• Break it down smaller than you think necessary. Instead of "get dressed," try: put on underwear, put on shirt, put on pants, put on socks. This might seem very detailed, but it is exactly what the ADHD brain craves.

  
  

• Use external cues and timers. A visual timer showing how long each step should take can help with both memory and time awareness. As my son got older, I began using phone alarms or smart speakers, such as "Alexa, remind me to put on my shoes in five minutes."

  
  

• Create a consistent order. Always the same sequence, every time. This builds automatic pathways in the brain. You might even come up with a unique way to help them remember the sequence through a rhyme or slogan. A favourite one for my son was “meds, pad, teeth” at bedtime.

  
  

• Limit choices and pre-stage items. Lying out clothes the night before removes one decision point. Keeping a shower caddy with everything in order (shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash) provides a physical roadmap.

  
  

Some days, the checklist will work beautifully. Other days, you'll find your child has somehow put their shirt on backwards, forgotten pants entirely, and is now building a fort with towels. That's ADHD. Progress isn't linear, but always celebrate the wins!