Help your autistic child learn about who they are

Learning about who you are can be tricky for many people, but it can be especially hard for autistic children.

Autistic children often see the world differently. They may find it harder to understand social rules or how they fit into the world around them.

During UK Pride Month, it’s a good time to think about how we support autistic children as they learn more about themselves. This might include their autistic identity and possibly an LGBTQIA+ identity too.

Some autistic children have strong interests and may explore identity in the same focused way.

This can be a good thing—it helps them understand themselves deeply. But it can also cause worry, especially if they feel they must figure it all out quickly or fit into a specific group.

You can help in the following ways:

• Keep conversations open.

Let your child know it’s OK to talk about feelings, identity, or questions. You don’t need to have all the answers.

• No pressure for labels.

Identity can change over time. There’s no rush to “know for sure.” Just let your child explore and be themselves.

• Avoid assumptions.

Just because your child likes a certain toy, hobby, or colour doesn’t mean we should make guesses about who they will be in the future.

Help your child learn to:

• Say what they need

• Set personal boundaries

• Share their likes and dislikes

These skills help now—and in the future. They will be useful for everything from asking for help at school to talking about relationships or gender identity as they grow.

Some social ideas can be confusing. Autistic children might need more clear teaching about things like:

• Different types of relationships

• Consent (saying yes or no safely)

• Personal space and boundaries

These are just as important as teaching maths or reading. Be patient and take your time.

Your child’s identity is special and may take time to grow. Support, love, and clear information will help them feel safe as they discover who they are.