How to help your autistic child learn new skills

Every autistic child has the ability to learn. What matters most is understanding how they learn and adapting our approach to suit their needs. Whether your child has an intellectual disability or not, they deserve learning methods that work with their strengths and support their challenges.

If your autistic child does not have an intellectual disability, they likely have typical or above-average thinking skills. But they may still face difficulties with things like anxiety, executive functioning (which affects planning, memory, and task-switching), and rigid thinking patterns. This means they might need instructions broken down into smaller, more concrete steps. What’s obvious to you might not be obvious to them, so clear, written instructions or visual supports like checklists and schedules can be incredibly helpful.

You can also make learning more engaging by using their special interests. If your child loves animals, trains, or space, you can use that theme to help them learn maths, writing, or science. This approach not only motivates them, but builds their confidence too. It’s also important to give them extra time to process tasks or questions. This doesn’t mean they can’t do it – it just means their brain is working in a different way.

Anxiety can be a real barrier, especially for children who fear getting things wrong. Trying something new can feel risky. Support them by making expectations predictable, celebrating effort rather than perfection, and showing them that it’s okay to make mistakes. If they see you handling errors calmly, they’ll feel safer trying again themselves. And remember, even if your child doesn’t have a learning disability, they may still benefit from input like educational psychology or support plans. They might not need lowered expectations – just a different approach to help them thrive.

If your autistic child does have an intellectual disability, learning may take longer – and that’s absolutely okay. Progress doesn’t have to follow a developmental chart. Your child’s learning journey is their own, and every step forward is something to be proud of. Repetition and routine are essential, and visual supports such as symbols, pictures, or real-life objects can really help them make sense of new information.

It’s also important that learning is meaningful. Focus on skills that build independence and confidence – things like self-care, communication, and safety. These skills often bring the most happiness and success in the long run. Try not to compare your child to others, even if the pressure to do so is strong. What matters is how your child is developing in their own way, not how they measure up to neurotypical expectations.

Stay involved with their school or learning team and check regularly whether their support plan is still working. If progress slows or stops, it could be a sign that something isn’t quite right – not with your child, but with the support they’re receiving. Sometimes a change in approach or environment can make all the difference.

Every autistic child, with or without an intellectual disability, deserves support that is respectful, personalised, and focused on building their strengths. Your encouragement, patience, and belief in them can have a lasting impact.

You know your child best. And your voice matters.

If you want to learn more about how to support your child to learn new skills and develop, check out Parenting Rewired - How to raise a happy autistic child in a very neurotypical world

Parenting Rewired: raise a happy autistic child in a very neurotypical world

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