How to plan visits to friends and family this summer

Summer holidays often mean trips to visit family. While these visits can be filled with fun and connection, they also come with challenges, especially for autistic children.

A change of environment, unfamiliar routines, and new social demands can all contribute to anxiety or overwhelm. But with a little planning, you can help make the experience more manageable for everyone.

Preparing Your Hosts

One of the most helpful things you can do is prepare the people you’re visiting. Let them know a little about how your child communicates, what helps them feel settled, and what might be tricky. This doesn’t need to be a long explanation, just a few key points to help your hosts understand what to expect and how they can help.

If possible, ask whether your child could have access to a quiet space they can use when things feel too much. A spare room, a corner with cushions, or even access to the car for a break can make all the difference.

Pack Familiar Items

Comfort items from home, like favourite toys, books, snacks, or bedding, can help your child feel safe in a new environment. It’s also a good idea to bring along a visual schedule that outlines the days of your stay. This helps make the unfamiliar more predictable and can ease some of the uncertainty that often causes anxiety.

Keep Key Routines (Where You Can)

Routine can be incredibly important for autistic children. While a complete holiday routine isn’t always possible, try to maintain key elements such as bedtime rituals, meal preferences, or morning routines. A small dose of predictability can help anchor the day.

Prepare for Sensory Differences

Even if your relatives’ home is calm and quiet, the environment will be different from your own. Bring any sensory supports your child usually uses such as noise-cancelling headphones, chewy jewellery, fidget tools, or a weighted blanket. You know what works best for your child.

It’s also worth avoiding very busy times or loud group activities, especially early in the visit. Schedule in quiet breaks between activities to help your child reset.

Gently Educate Your Hosts

Sometimes people who don’t have experience with autism may misinterpret behaviours like stimming, needing space, or avoiding eye contact. A quiet conversation with your hosts beforehand can help avoid awkward moments. Let them know that these are natural parts of how your child navigates the world, not signs of being rude or disinterested.

Share Strengths and Interests

Your child’s challenges aren’t the only thing worth mentioning. Let your hosts know what lights your child up. A shared interest, like a favourite cartoon, animals, or a love of Lego, can go a long way in building connection and creating meaningful moments together.

Start Small

If this is your first time staying with these family members, keep it short. A night or two is often plenty, and it gives you the flexibility to adjust plans if things aren’t going well. Having an exit strategy, even if you don’t use it, can make the whole visit feel less pressured.

Visiting family doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Focus on creating positive experiences, however small, and honour your child’s needs along the way.

You're not being difficult by planning ahead. You're creating the best chance for everyone to feel relaxed, respected, and connected.