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If Your Child Doesn’t Get Their First Choice School
- Autability
- 7 days ago
- 2 min read
It can be hard when you open that email and see your child wasn’t offered a place at the school you had your heart set on. When your child is autistic or has ADHD, and has an EHCP, choosing a school isn’t just about Ofsted ratings. It’s about safety, understanding, and the right fit.
Visiting schools, even when they’re not your first pick, can still reveal possibilities.
You might want to visit alone first, especially if your child finds new environments overwhelming. When they’re ready, prepare them gently. Explain where you’re going, what to expect, and why.
Open days can be sensory chaos. Many schools are happy to offer quieter visits, so it is worth asking and explaining why you would prefer a quieter visit. This not only helps your child but also gives you a chance to see how the school responds to reasonable adjustments.
Pay attention to noise levels, lighting, classroom layout, and the availability of calm spaces. Is the environment going to support your child, or overwhelm them?
Are staff speaking kindly, clearly, and patiently? Do they give processing time? These small cues often say more than any prospectus ever could.
It’s easy to forget things, especially when you're juggling emotions. Take notes and observations, then later review them with your child. Use school websites or virtual tours to go over things together.
You know how your child communicates, whether that’s words, behaviours, or body language. Pay attention to their reactions when viewing different schools. Comfort, connection, and confidence matter just as much as academics.
This process isn’t just about ticking EHCP boxes. It’s about finding a place where your child can feel safe being exactly who they are. Sometimes, the right school isn't the one you expected; it’s the one that truly sees them.
For more information, visit our web page on autism and ADHD in school below:
For books on managing anxiety, including how to support your child or teen at school, check out our books below:
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